Some people do kit reviews of the things that they have bought to provide an idea of how it performed and advice for those who might consider purchasing them in the future. Others do reviews of gear that they have been provided by suppliers to test and review prior to handing it back – hoping to generate sales off the back of amazing online reviews.
This is not one of those kinds of pages.
No – this is my ‘dream’ list. This is where I will keep the kit/gear that I wish I could own, however don’t yet – or won’t ever. Gear is listed with a star rating indicating how likely it would be in my lifetime that I will obtain said gear, with one star for ‘not even remotely likely in a million years’, and five stars being ‘I’m getting this next week’.
What is it? Cervelo P5 Time Trial Bike
Likelihood Stars? * (only because I couldn’t draw a one-quarter star)
Why? Why? Do you even need to ask? Look at the thing! Its sexy, sexy..ness. In bike form! This thing looks like a freakin weapon, and (I would imagine) would ride like one too. It is the top of the line Cervelo piece of Time Trialling equipment at the moment, and if you are silly enough (like me) to read the wish lists of the top end age-grouper triathletes, this is the piece of kit they wish they had. I love the Cervelo brand as a whole, and this combined with the carbon wheelset would make me weak at the knees were I to (gasp) touch one. What’s that? Mop for aisle three? You bet.
Why not? I would look like a right tool on this. I would be the very definition of a slow-poke biker on a piece of kit well outside of his skill level. People would scoff at me as they passed me on their mountain bikes. It would be embarrassing in the extreme. Even being able to tell myself that I must look amazing from the legs down (ie. the bike only) would not be enough to overcome the dread that my bare bank balance would display in reality.
What is it? Garmin Team Hoodie
Likelihood Stars? **** (if I can find one)
Why? Fair question. It is a £65 hoodie for gods sake. But look at it! It is so cool! It even has the Cervelo logo on the back, and I think it is a really nice looking jumper. I’m a massive fan of the hoodie, its general warmy-ness, its potentially for head covering, as well as its versatility in the form of the much maligned ‘zip’. It even has a hood! Am I a sucker for brands like Castelli, Garmin and Cervelo? Hells yes I am. So does that mean that this ticks all of the boxes, as well as enabling me to show in public my fan-boy love for both cycling, Garmin and hoodies? It sure does.
Why not? It is a £65 hoodie.
What the hell is that? Wahoo Kickr Smart Trainer
Likelihood Stars? **
Why? Because using Zwift and other such programs are fun, but are more fun when your trainer adjusts the resistance for you. There is also a credibility element on things like Zwift when you use a smart trainer, because dummy trainers are too open to manipulation by those who wish to misrepresent how hard they really are. Also because, from what I understand, the Kickr sounds less like an airplane taking off in your living room than other trainers do.
Why not? It’s actually not that expensive in the greater scheme of things, but paying an extra couple of hundred pounds so that you can have your resistance altered for you is a bit silly. I would rather (for now) save the pounds and just pedal harder. Also, I don’t tend to get on my current trainer as much as I should, so I can hardly justify it. For now.
What the hell is that? Zipp 808 Firecrests
Likelihood Stars? *
Why? They make you cycle faster – in fact, I know that they do, even at the slow speeds at which I amble around on my bike. But more importantly, look how freaking pro they make you look! This is why I’m more interested in Zipp wheels than a cost-equivalent one that would effectively achieve the same thing. Brand loyalty is great.
Why not? The time differential is not actually that great, and most importantly – the idea of having wheels that cost more than twice what your bike costs is not mildly insane. It would also be embarrassing to own these and be so slow.
What the hell is that? Garmin Forerunner 735XT
Likelihood Stars? *** (once my 910xt dies, * before then)
Why? Because my 910xt is going to die one day, and I will need something to replace it. And because the idea of more data (always more data!!) is great, and this thing gives me my heart rate when I’m swimming. That’s pretty much it.
Why Not? As long as my 910xt is working? Because I have a fully functioning triathlon watch that does everything that I need it to do. There doesn’t appear that much here to really justify an upgrade or anything, though I have to say that if there was a function added that gave you your TSS as it is going – that would be great. The 735XT gives you your Strava Suffer Score, which I’m assuming is something else entirely. If you’ve got a watch that works though, stick to it eh?
Likelihood Stars? ***
Why? Because Crowie runs in them…what? He does!
Why Not? Because £140 is a lot of money for running shoes (kinda), and because I am always loathe to switch brands when I know I have a pair that are working and not damaging my legs/shins/hips. Newtons have a relatively different shape to them compared to those I use, that makes me think that they might be an investment in injury – but they look so cool and have the ‘Crowie’ effect, that make me think there aren’t many arguments against them being my next pair.